The second Sunday of Advent has come and gone, the second candle on the Church’s wreath has been lit, and the chocolates in the Frozen/Minecraft Christmas calendar are disappearing fast. But really, it’s not too late to start celebrating Advent with the family. In fact it could make all the difference to how you and yours celebrate Christmas.
Why? because every Feast needs a Fast before it. That’s the way our forebears planned it: four weeks of Advent before Christmas, and forty days of of Lent before Easter. Of course, that’s not what it looks like nowadays, out on the High Street, or in the world of online retailing. In those places Christmas began somewhere around early November, just after Halloween. Which means that by the time the great Feast of Christmas arrives we are too jaded to really celebrate it.
As parents, grandparents or carers we have a chance to change our children’s experience of these weeks before Christmas, and doing this will help them to appreciate the deeper meaning of Christmas: that the greatest Gift, Godself, has been given to us.
When my children were at kindergarten, their teachers looked closely at the mood of each festival as they prepared to celebrate with the children. Advent’s mood is of anticipation and longing, and the world around speaks of absence and growing darkness, in the Northern hemisphere at least. We wait for the coming of light: for Jesus, the Light of the World to be born, and we anticipate the fulfilment of God’s plan for the earth as something begun with that birth but not yet complete. Some of the traditional themes of Advent are terrifying: the Four Last Things (death, judgement, heaven and hell) for example. There is no need to push children into contemplating these, and in fact I have found the Sunday readings less than helpful in supporting the growing sense of wonder that culminates with Christmas joy.
What to do instead?
My suggestion is to begin a family tradition that gives time and space to reflect. For example, something as simple as lighting a candle and reading a story each evening after mealtime. So, what follows are two ideas which have become traditions in my family over the past twenty years or so. You may already be familiar with them, and have developed your own traditions. If so, wonderful! If not, it really isn’t too late to try one of these:
Simple Advent Wreath and Story Time
Once upon a time I used to bind together fir branches with wire, and make a ‘proper’ Advent wreath. But it took too long, needed more evergreen material than I could find, and shed all its needles by about now. So these days I take a big shallow bowl or plate and stand four pillar candles on it. Cut branches of anything evergreen (even lengths of ivy) are then placed around the base of the candles. This wreath sits on the kitchen table throughout Advent, and each evening the appropriate number of candles are lit and we eat our meal around it. After dinner, once plates are cleared, we sit down again, and with just the light of the candles, read aloud a story that’s appropriate for the season.
Over the years I’ve collected many stories. Charity shops are particularly good hunting grounds. We read legends about Christmas traditions; stories of saints like Nicholas, Lucia and Francis; Christmas stories by well known authors like Shirley Hughes, Michael Morpurgo or Leo Tolstoy as well as the story of Jesus’s nativity. If this is your first year - start with what you have, and add more next year.
It’s particularly nice to have some stories you only read at particular times. In our family we have a low key celebration of St Nicholas’s day, so on the evening when we polish shoes ready to put them by the front door to be filled there’ll be a tale of how Bishop Nicholas became a gift giver for Christ. On the first night of Hannukah, because of my husband’s Jewish roots we tell a lovely story about a Jewish family who helped their Christian neighbours. And so on.
On Christmas morning the wreath will have vanished, to be replaced by a single white candle.
Mary and Joseph’s Path to the Stable
This idea is an Advent calendar that builds the nativity scene at the same time. With the addition of Joseph and the donkey it is from ‘All Year Round’ by Ann Druitt and Christine Fynes-Clinton. A brilliant book with ideas for celebrating Christian festivals.
You will need:
A dark blue piece of material or paper, approx 100x100cm
pins or blue tack to attach part of it to a wall
Up to 24 small gold stars, approx 2cm diameter
4 large gold stars, approx 3cm diameter
A nativity set ( use cardboard toilet rolls with faces on, or lego mini figures if you haven’t got a set)
A stable (use a shoebox with straw or shredded paper inside)
A table, windowsill or mantlepiece (I use the top of our dresser, but I’ve used a window sill in the past)
4 small candles in holders, or tea lights
An Advent carol to sing (‘The Angel Gabriel from Heaven Came’ works well)
stones, branches, pine cones and other items to build up the scene over the weeks
1- Blue tack or pin half of the material on to the wall behind your table/mantlepiece/ dresser. Drape the rest over the table in front of it. If you’re using a window sill, just cover it in blue material or paper, and leave the window clear.
2- Place your stable on one side of the table/mantlepiece etc and lay a trail of gold stars (blue tack each) from the other side to it. This is the star path along which Mary, Joseph and the donkey will travel. The large stars are for the four Sundays in Advent, so they need to be placed in order. Lay out the correct number of stars for Advent depending on the year, or start from December 1st if that’s easier.
3 - Place Mary and Joseph on the star furthest from the stable.
Each evening in Advent, gather at the Path. Either light the appropriate number of candles yourself, or if the children are old enough let them. Sing a verse of your carol (or two, three or four depending on the week). Move Mary, Joseph and the donkey to the next star and blue tack the star they’ve just left to the ‘sky’ above them. Place an item on the table to build up the scene. In the early weeks these could be pine cones, stones, shells. In the third week we put animals into the scene - sheep in the field and the ox waiting in the stable, and any others you have (from lego polar bears to homemade creations). In the fourth week, the shepherds can join their sheep and the kings appear somewhere else in the room.
On Christmas eve, Mary, Joseph and the donkey will have arrived at the stable to join the ox. Without anyone knowing how, by the time everyone wakes up on Christmas morning the baby Jesus will be found lying in the manger and the shepherds will be worshipping him.
The three kings gradually move around the room to arrive on 6th January, Epiphany…but that’s another story!
Note for Grandparents:
If your grandchildren will be visiting you during Advent, you could begin one of these traditions yourself. Sometimes it can be easier to find time for contemplation and story telling at a grandparent’s house than at home, where everything tends to get more and more frenetic as Christmas approaches.
Author: Anne Strauss was ordained Deacon in the Church of England in June 2019. She has four children who range in age from 11-21, and is passionate about celebrating faith at home.
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